One Little Thing That Should Be Destroyed

Today I bought a few CDs, which is something I don't do too often anymore. However, there were some discs I'd downloaded (I'm a firm believer in the try-before-you-buy model of music sales.) I wanted to legitimize. Not wanting to drive 2 hours out of my way for no other reason than a few CDs, I headed over to the local FYE at what I call the Berlin Dirt Mall. I like owning CDs, and I like checking out the interesting packaging that many CDs use. But when I got home and managed to get the shrink-wrap off I was reminded of one little thing I hate with every fiber of my being, something that should be destroyed utterly and its creators banished to the Ross Ice Shelf naked with strips of fresh blubber hanging from their necks. I'm talking about those annoying fucking adhesive strips that come attached to every CD under the sun nowadays.

I understand what they're for--to keep people from opening the plastic jewel cases and making off with the CDs inside them, but is it really necessary? I mean, the discs are already shrink-wrapped on top of that. If someone can open the shrinkwrap without the store clerks noticing, is an additional little plastic strip really going to be that much of a deterrent? Tell you the truth, I don't give a fuck if they work or not. They're way too annoying, and should be disposed of on the basis of that alone. At least 2 of the 4 CDs I bought also had another anti-theft device (RFID tag, etc.) buried in the packaging. Is there really any need to pester the honest consumer with yet another annoying piece of shit to remove? For that matter, is in-store theft really that big of an issue anymore?

They don't always come off cleanly either--that's what really steams my cheese. One of the CDs I bought was "Cover Your Tracks" by Bury Your Dead. The packaging is extremely classy for a hardcore release, which are usually long on attitude but short on budget and graphic design. The plastic strip sealing the top edge of the jewel case was treated with some wonderful kind of new elastic adhesive which can probably only be manufactured in a zero-gravity environment. Unfortunately, it seems it can only be removed in such an environment as well. Once I'd slit the tag in two with my trusty Leatherman I peeled it back from the jewel case. A viscous trail of adhesive goo stretched out from the case to the label, eventually snapping, leaving just enough residual goo behind on the case to be easily visible.

DAMN YOU, ANTI-THEFT TAGS!! YOU FUCKING SUCK!!