Happy birthday, Thompson!

Thompson's first photo

Yesterday my dog Thompson turned one year old. I'd like to tell you the story of Thompson, and in doing so introduce you to a wonderful organization that could use your support.

When my fiance and kids and I moved into our current house in mid-April last year we decided to ge a dog. I'd had a beagle when I was a kid and have loved them ever since, so we decided to look for something beagleish. We weren't interested in using the dog for hunting or shows, so we decided a purebred beagle was not necessary (or remotely within our budget). A nice dog that could reasonably pass as a beagle--that was the plan. Another stipulation: we wanted a puppy, not an older dog. We checked with the local Humane Society and other similar resources, and while they had many dogs that could've made wonderful pets for us, our hearts were set on a beagle-type dog.

A little online research lead us to B.O.N.E.S.: Beagles of New England States. They're a beagle rescue society, removing beagles from abusive living situations and finding good homes for them. On the B.O.N.E.S. website we were introduced to a sweet girl named Cookie:


Cookie, Thompson's mom

When B.ON.E.S. found Cookie she was living outside, tied to a fence. See that nasty scar across her muzzle? That was caused by her former "owner", an abusive scumbag who wired her mouth shut so she couldn't bark. B.O.N.E.S. rescued Cookie and her equally ill-treated sister from this pathetic waste of skin, and a couple weeks later Cookie, very happy in her new foster home, gave birth to a litter of truly amazing-looking puppies. As is often the case, one died. Thompson was the smallest of the surviving puppies. Not a runt by any stretch of the imagination, Thompson made up for his smaller size by being the fiestiest pup of the litter, making sure he always got enough to eat and plenty of attention.

The adoption process was involved, but B.O.N.E.S. made it easy and fun. We emailed them expressing our interest in adopting one of Cookie's puppies, and within a couple days we were filling out the necessary paperwork and setting up an in-home visit. One of the things I like most about B.O.N.E.S. is that they're not interested in shipping puppies off to anyone who says, "I want one!" They make sure their puppies are going to good homes. We live in central Vermont, and although B.O.N.E.S. is based in the Boston area they were able to find a couple nearby who were providing a foster home to a B.O.N.E.S. beagle. With beagle in tow they came to our house for an in-home interview. We passed and were approved to adopt one of Cookie's puppies. When the puppies were old enough for their personality evaluations they were matched up with prospective homes. I guess B.O.N.E.S. picked fiesty Thompson for us because we have two young kids, and what a perfect match-up!

Near the end of May, when the litter was about 8 weeks old, wa made the three hour drive down to Boston to pick up our new puppy. We met Cookie, who despite the cruelty she went through turned out to be a very lovely girl. My fiance drove on the return trip, and tiny little Thompson spent the ride in my lap, frequently resting his head on his new mommy's arm. He fit in immediately and has been a joy ever since. A year ago my fiance and I were excited but very nervous about the responsibilities of being good dog owners. Now we can't imagine a life without Thompson, and are looking forward to the day we own a house and have enough space (and a yard that can be fenced in) to give Thompson a brother or sister.


Thompson the 1-year-old

If you live in New England and are considering getting a dog, please follow the link above and consider using B.O.N.E.S. They're a terrific organization, and will provide you with a great amount of support during the entire adoption process. If you have a few spare dollars you'd like to donate to a good cause, keep them in mind. They frequently incur large medical bills caring for rescued beagles with health problems, so you can almost always find a couple dogs on their website that need sponsors. Every little bit helps, and it would make a big difference to them.

So happy birthday, Thompson boy! We love you!

Your stillsuit is fitted NASA fashion.

Now this is what I call news! From CNN.com:

"The Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama, has been testing a device intended for the space station that would recycle astronauts' sweat, respiration and even urine into drinking water purer than any found in a tap.

"'They just breathe and exercise, urinate into the urinal and our system handles the rest,' says Robyn Carrasquillo, chief of the environmental control and life support division at Marshall."

"Urine and feces are processed in the thigh pads!"

Some people call that "news"

CNN.com (your news without all that bothersome proofreading) has published an article blowing the lid off what's sure to be remembered as one of 2005's biggest scandals: reduced-sugar breakfast cereal. According to CNN's daring probe, reduced-sugar versions of Froot Loops, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Frosted Flakes are still not nutritiously sound. How could this be?! Well, if it's on CNN, it must be true. Apparently these boxes that proudly state the percentage of sugar reduced are also trying to convince hapless shoppers (subliminally, it appears) that the cereal is more nutritious than their fully-sugared brethren. "You're supposed to think it's healthy," cries a nutrition professor quoted in the article. "This is about marketing. It is about nothing else. It is not about kids' health."

My first thought upon reading this major scoop was that the quoted nutrition professor had apparently breezed through Pontificating the Obvious 401 but had failed to ever complete a Home Economics course. Then I had a less judgemental thought. "Wait a minute. My fiance does most of the shopping because she knows how easily I get lost. Maybe I'm out of touch with the common American shopper. Perhaps I should reevaluate the situation from a different point of view." So I filled an old tennis shoe with Grape Nuts & skim milk and hit myself in the head with it for about 9 hours and thought about things again. My roughly translated reappraisal:

"Um...ow. Huh-huh. Uh, so I bought the new Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 'cause they said it had 75% less sugar, so I figured the cereal people must've filled the extra space with protein and fiber and whatever else the AMA says will lengthen my life this week. But then Woody Bernstein over at CNN told me no, 'less sugar' just means 'less sugar'. Now I feel raped. Mouth-raped. How dare you, evil cereal people? HOW DARE YOU?!"

Come on, people! It's Cinnamon Toast Crunch, fer chrissakes! If you are deluded enough to think that a crappy kids' cereal--reduced sugar or no--could ever be tatamount to a healthy diet you shouldn't be doing the shopping for your family, and may need to arrange for assisted living for yourself. We allow corporate marketing to slip questionable things into our bodies through half-truths and fine print every day, and when they come up with a straightforward and, dare I say, honest gimmick to sell cereal we attack them because some over-educated fool with a common sense deficency thinks that by reducing the sugar content of cereal the Breakfast-Industrial Complex is trying to convince the shopping populace that they can transmute shit into gold. Apparently this evil scheme was foiled when the journalist (or maybe my new favorite professor) read the nutritional content labels of the cereals in question, an act the article implies the vast majority of American shoppers are totally incapable of comprehending. I'm sorry, but if you are unwilling or unable to read product labels you should not be allowed in a grocery store. That's how I feel. If morbid stupidity is truly so rampant, I think it's time we start legislating against it. Sure, it's a hard line, but it'll save future generations an awful lot of headaches, and isn't that the best gift we can give them? You know, apart from a healthier planet and a wider choice of reality shows?

This post was brought to you by CNN. CNN: Sometimes news is stupid.

Mmmm...web counters!

What do you do when stomach and back pain roust you from bed at 3:00am? I dip my big toe in the murky pool called HTML and see if a big cartoon piranha emerges to bite it off at the ankle. Surprisingly, none did. I installed a web counter, a little unobtrusive one, not one that looks like a slot machine. Not the most impressive web-related task, I know, but since I'd never even looked at HTML code before this past Saturday I feel like being a little self-congratulatory. If I open my blog later today and find it overwhelmed with banners and weird shit I'll regret this post. The nice folks who provided the free counter swore that wouldn't happen.

Right now I'm listening to the latest release from The Mars Volta, "Frances the Mule". If you've never heard them, follow the link for a good audio clip leading into the band's website. Do it, do it! They combine guitar rock, Latin, funk, and a bunch of other influences. Not quite as musically diverse as Crotchduster, but much lighter on death metal vocals and anal sex, if that's an issue for you. Come to think of it, if you listen to The Mars Volta and Crotchduster in the same day you should qualify for exemption from your place of work's diversity training requirements. Both CDs may wind up being subjects of reviews here at some point, but before I tackle either of those I have another music review already in the works. One of the year's most highly-anticipated metal releases dropped into my lap over the weekend, about six weeks before it hits the stores. I've almost got my head wrapped around it enough to write about it. Almost...

But that's enough for right now. The sun's coming up, and my immediate future is all about toast.

Where Are They Now File: Kip Winger

As reported by Blabbermouth.net:

Kip Winger, he of WINGER fame, has placed "original and authentic WINGER/Kip Winger memorabilia" for sale via eBay. According to Winger's official web site, "this garage sale features clothing used in performances and photo shoots, and equipment used in the studio on his recent albums."

I went to college with a hot but very Christian girl, who according to legend had once gone on a date with Kip Winger (before the band was a hit). According to this completely unsubstantiated rumor, he wasn't a big believer in the church's views on pre-marital sex, and was quite disappointed to discover that she was. As the legend tells, she walked out on him and there was no second date. Sing along with me, folks: "Jesus says she's unwed, but she's good enuff for me!"

Dismantling the blank page

To begin. A daunting task for many writers. Words more eloquent than mine have related the intimidation that a single piece of blank paper can instill on those who feel compelled to translate the contents of their hearts and minds into text. I have to admit to a bit of that feeling myself. But what the hell, I'm just gonna jump in the ocean and hope the water isn't cold enough to cause my nuts to retreat into my abdomen. Hey, it can't be that bad. Right?

So welcome to my blog. This is my first attempt at a blog. In fact, I'd never even read a blog until a few days ago. From a technical standpoint, I expect my blog to improve over time as I become more familiar and comfortable with the tools at my disposal. I'm starting with one of the default Blogger templates, unmodified. I may eventually customize the look of my blog to make it a little more distinct, but right now I'd rather focus on getting some content up. (I spent way too much time yesterday figuring out how to add a photo to my profile with Hello, eventually stumbling onto the right support document after much head scratching.) I know nothing of HTML and have never designed a web site (not counting the 10 minutes I spent typing text and adding images in Netscape Composer about three years ago), so this will be a learning experience. I hope you enjoy the content enough to stick with me as I learn.

What should you expect from this blog? Well, like many blogs what you're going to see here is whatever the blogmeister (in this case, me) feels like writing about. I have no intentions of sticking to a unified theme apart from that. Like the tag line says, reports from the life of the mind. (Yes, I know I'm combining Bill Lee and Barton Fink, a dangerous thing to do considering how much literary misery each character is weighted down with.) If something gets stuck in my mental filter, odds are it'll show up here. Aren't you lucky?! But before I get too far into what, let me tell you why...

I am starting this blog for a pretty simple reason: I am often compelled to write. My long-time friends know that I'm quite capable of going off on a rant. Many times I've emailed a friend, intending to send off a quick message stating, "You know, I tried this new thing, and guess what? It sucks!", only to find myself still sitting there an hour later, fleshing it out into a miniature essay. (I sometimes do the same with things that don't suck.) So why limit myself to an audience of one when there might well be three times that many people the world over who might care to read what I have to say? And it's free, so shit, why not? Wouldn't you?

So now I come back to what. Although this will not be a rigidly thematic blog, I do have an idea of what I'll likely be posting. You can expect to eventually see the following: movie reviews, music reviews, PC hardware reviews, PC software and game reviews, review reviews ("Dude, I read your review, and it sucks!"), snide self-serving comments on news articles and current events, essays of varying length and topic, random quotes-of-the-day (although not necessarilly every day), Universal Truths, angry rants, happy rants, a fake toe, a real toe, naked pictures of Kirstie Alley, and, of course, The Lurking Unknown.

I guess that's enough of a primer. Now I'm gonna grab a little breakfast and some ibuprofin for the lingering backache that drove me out of bed at 4:30am on a Sunday. Nothing quite like pain to get you going in the morning, huh? Enjoy the blog!

Your illustrious host,

Yomper